Emma

Welcome to today's episode on the corner of Homelessness and Physical Disabilities. This episode, which largely follows our speaker’s life including mentions of suicide, drug use and drug. Overdose, please be aware and listen, taking care of yourself and asking for help when needed. I'm Emma Hughes.

Joe

And I'm Joe Ader.

Emma

As always, we give our disclaimer a reminder that homelessness is a complex issue. I've been reminded of that in almost every episode that we have had. Every conversation is different. We don't claim to explore every part of an intersection. That is the topic for conversation, but hope that each conversation brings new clarity. The reality as a whole. Please keep an open and curious mind as you listen and seek to learn just as we. I do additionally in this episode we want to take a moment and talk about language. You'll hear us use a lot of terms interchangeably. My advice for you? Ask the people that you care about what terms they prefer and use those terms. So for us today we are going to most likely use person with a disability. But as always, ask. With that said, today we're lucky to have special guest Anthony Horne from revive counseling revive addresses, addiction recovery, mental health, among other things. Anthony, welcome. We're so glad that you are here.

Anthony

Hey, thanks for having me.

Emma

Tell us a little bit about why we invited you on today's episode.

Anthony

Well, I happen to be a person living with a disability. And I come from homelessness, so I'm excited to be here, appreciate all the work that you guys are doing as well.

Joe

We're so we're so excited to have you here and to, you know, hear your story, hear your thoughts and inputs on this topic. Just statistically, people with disabilities represent about 17.7% of the US population, but 42% of the homeless population in the country, and so I think that's significant. Uh. And so I think this topic is really important in as we're exploring homelessness to look at this intersection. And so we're so grateful to have you here for this discussion.

Anthony

Absolutely 42%, that's big numbers.

Emma

Tell us a little bit about how you ended up here.

Anthony

Let's see where can I start on that one? Well, first of all, I'm. I'm from Spokane, born and raised here. I went to Shadle Park High School where I played baseball, basketball, football. Grew up in a middle-class family. We weren't poor by any means. No where we were. Which my mother worked a full time job to be able to provide for us and give us some opportunities that she didn't quite have or my father didn't have. Those two stuck it out as long as they could. They ended up splitting up and then me and my brothers had to separate households. So during that there was a lot of turmoil amongst the family that just kind of led us all down our separate roads of trials and tribulations. 2013 I was involved in a motorcycle accident that left me paralyzed and for me, I don't think that it was much of a accident as much as it was kind of a wake up call. Coming from a middle-class family and attending a. High school that I went to, I had every opportunity that a young gentleman could possibly hope for, right? Played sports, didn't ever have any problems with friends or, you know, clothes. Girls just kind of sat at the cool table, thought my stuff didn't. I think and safe to say that that motorcycle accident was a slice of humble pie and I think looking back on it, of course that that was probably the saving grace that was going to. Put me in a position in life that I wouldn't have been able to reach had it not been for that accident. Now, it wasn't easy by any means, and it's come with a long road of many different things that were going to shape the person that I'm becoming, such as homelessness and addiction and everything in between those spaces, which is a lot.

Emma

How did you go from that background through experiencing homelessness. You mentioned addiction.

Anthony

Yeah. So after the accident, it took me a while to find my identity, right? I was 28 when it happened. Before this injury I kind of had the world in my hands, if you will, from my point of view. I had a beautiful mother of my children. We had two beautiful children together, had my kids involved in sports and they were doing good in school. Everything was looking really good. On the outside, right. But it wasn't. I was involved in some things that weren't a righteous journey or a path. I got involved in drugging and dealing money wasn't an issue at the time. I just kind of threw money out. Whatever the problem or situation was to cover up what I was doing. After getting paralyzed, coming home to nothing and all of these people that were around me before just because of the money, we're suddenly gone. Than having been a high school, athlete a successful one. This is kind of the worst fear that a young 28 year old would ever dream of, you know, is being paralyzed. Right? So in St Luke’s, that's where I had my recovery at first of all in that motorcycle accident, I was T boned going through an intersection. Broke all of my ribs. I had frontal lobe hemorrhaging. Multiple compound fractures on my hands, not to mention the spine was snapped in half, which almost is the least of the problems. Once I got to the hospital, they put me in the MRI machine, which I actually died on the pavement. They had a resuscitate me. I was out for 90 seconds. One of my lungs was collapsed and it was just too much trauma and on the body. But they they saved me. Thank God for Sacred Heart, amazing hospital. But coming into St. Lukes, I was there for three months and I had so much support in there with the physical therapist and just my athletic mind and go get her attitude. I was coming along really great, but once I came home without that support and the constant push of the physical therapist mixed with everybody being gone and me going from this Golden Boy that couldn't do any wrong in my family's eyes to this paralyzed, broken man that is just a shell or a shadow of his old self, you know, so that was a very harsh thing to to deal with. And then the pain medication didn't help either.

Emma

It's amazing how community members, when they come around you right, it improves everything.

Anthony

Yeah.

Emma

And when you don't have community. It gets bad real quick.

Anthony

Oh it really does it really does community is everything. It gives you a sense of identity and purpose, and that community could just be inside of your family, you know, like I said. So when I when I came home and all of these things that made-up my identity was stripped from me, it was a very dark road. And I kind of hid in a room, if you will. Just because I was, I felt so broken and looking in the eyes of my family. They were trying to keep a good attitude and keep positive spirits. But I could just read their emotions and the look on their face on how they looked at me. Right. I was just kind of in the back corner of the room feeling sorry for myself. And then there was some guilt in the family as well, just because it's a a family thing, when somebody dies or there's a major accident for, you know, the head of the household. So I spent some time just suffering in my own silence and depression and the pain pills just did not help at all, but they were a crutch for me. They were something that literally took away the pain, mentally and physically, but it was more mental for me. Not to mention I have a lot of hardware inside of my body. So there's some scar tissue and some permanent damage that, you know, I really was in serious pain. But the pain pills made it 10 times worse.

I wasn't accountable for physical therapy. I wasn't accountable for any of my pain management appointments, so I end up getting cut off of them and I was on them for three years and getting cut off just randomly like that was was vicious, right? I was going through the worst withdrawals, which I didn't even know anything about, you know, until I was in it and I had someone offer me some heroin saying that, you know, it's not like you see in the movies, you don't have to put in the needle and shoot it. You can smoke it. There's other ways to take it, but I just don't want to see you in pain like that anymore, so if you do this then you'll be OK. And it's not like the stereotypes that you see in the movie. So I was like, OK, I'll give it a try. Worst decision of my life. That led me down that road of homelessness. That was a very tough journey, very tough journey.

Emma

Yeah, pain makes us do wild things. I think human beings don't want to ever be in pain. And your story and your experience of you would have very legitimate medicine needing accident happened to you. Like your spine is split in half. Of course I would expect there to be some pain management, right? That needs to happen. And then it continues on down this path and it ends up in a moment or an experience we have to kind of face. That music of, OK, I didn't deal with the pain. The deeper pain. And here we are.

Anthony

Absolutely.

Joe

Yeah. Yeah. So I mean and that's the you mentioned this, but the physical versus emotional. You know the the emotional pains when we are trying to heal those with a substance. It's it's a much more difficult type of pain and it doesn't. It doesn't heal that same way. It doesn't numb that same way. Can you share a little bit about how from that point, kind of starting heroin to ending up on the streets? Just real briefly, what, what? What happens there to to be like that?

Anthony

So. I was the head of the household and when money was coming in, all the bills were paid right. But once I start spending money on the heroin to try to stay out of pain, mentally and physically. Then everything was gone and it took about a year and a half to even get on Social Security when I came out of the hospital, so I had a resort to some of my old ways just to keep the lights on. And that only lasted for so long, because at this point I'm an addict and not managing that system well of making money. And then my family weren't working at the time either, because before the accident everything was taken care of. They didn't have to. I was doing all of that. So when those pieces fell apart and there wasn't anybody to pick them up, shut off, notices started coming late, rent was coming, the eviction came, right, and then we're all spread. I sent my kids to go be with their grandmother on their mother's side. And the mother of my children had left me. She stuck it out probably as long as, longer than she needed to, or should have, especially the place that I was in, you know, looking back on it. I wasn't a very kind, happy person, you know, that accident stripped everything from me. And then these people that I took care of left me. So that left me with some wounds. And I was very bitter. And I was very mean. So I never blame them for that, but that unfortunately separated all of us and led me down the road of abandonment and loss. Left to figure it out, you know? So I was on the streets literally for a solid nine months, going from house to house.

When I did finally get my Social Security, I would be able to pay for a hotel for a few days. Right. What's under $1000 going to do for rooms that cost $35 to $50 a night. Yeah, so that was always gone real quick. So then I was again back to the streets, you know, sacrificing some of my own morals and values just for a place to stay and a bite to eat. And the conversation. That was a a hard place, but I just I knew I wasn't going to give up no matter what, because I did have a failed suicide attempt at St Luke's. I tried to hang myself with the belt and my brother came in and he caught me and he's like, look, bro, if you're going to die, it was going to be right there on the pavement. I know it doesn't look like it now, but you know, God has a plan for your life. And these two children are involved in that. Though those words always stuck with me and I kept going, even in the darkest times of my day. Fiction and. Being so far removed from the system and the help of physical therapy and organization like St. Luke’s left me in pieces and there was no way I was able to even seek the right help or even ask the right questions in the state that I was in.

Emma

Well, because you were when you were on the streets bouncing in and out of hotels with your disability money. I mean, you're still in a wheelchair, so you're navigating active addiction in a wheelchair, with less than $1000 a month, needing physical therapy, and trying to numb all of that other stuff. That is a that is a compound complex, not of like, where do you start?

Anthony

Yes. Absolutely. Yeah. Gosh. Right, right. Sure, sure. And and that's what it was, right? So I ended up getting cut off my insurance even because I didn't know when I need to do a review or there was paperwork that I needed to do or something didn't go through. So it wasn't until I was out of medical supplies. Right. With the spinal cord injury comes certain things like the bathroom. Right. I have to use a single catheter each time that I relieve myself. So I was out of those and I was literally reusing one of them and trying to clean it with the alcohol pad. Trying to be as sanitary as possible, but I just wasn't. Right. So I ended up having a really bad bladder infection and kidney infection and sometimes I would give it to myself on purpose, like not clean the catheter just so I had a place to stay in the hospital. So if I get make it to this hospital when it's getting super cold at night, then at least I'll have a a week of peace. Even though I'm super sick. I'm hooked up to antibiotics, but I got a warm bed. I got a TV. I get a meal, a few, a few meals, right and then. Yeah. Then I would just be released back into the streets with no solid pan, never had a service provider or worker come to me when I was in those rooms or ask me what was going on or how could they help. They just felt OK. Your blood work looks good. You seem to be stable and then see you later, you know?

Joe

So that's a that's an interesting point. A lot of folks that are experiencing homelessness not, not just those with disabilities, but a lot of folks, like if there's nowhere to go, the emergency room is where you go because there's, there's not another place. Can you share a little bit more as somebody with disabilities like our societies, not really designed very well for people with disabilities. But then you add homelessness on top of that. What types of things, even services that you would think? OK, well, this is an easy service for somebody to access that's experiencing homelessness, but because of the disability, it made it almost impossible. Was there anything like that?

Anthony

Not so much the wheelchair itself, right? It wasn't until the point where I knew something needed to change for me to start asking the right questions and seeking the right help. So when I was released from the hospital that last time that I was extremely sick this time I had got a kidney infection. I went to my dad's house to stay and just let him know that, hey, I I gotta get off these drugs. I'm, I'm going to die. You know, I got to get off these drugs. So he's seen something was different than me and gave me a chance to sleep in their backyard. His wife didn't want me over there just because a lot of the bridges were burned, but I may get these three days out there, he ends up getting me to the hospital and then now it's time for me to face the truth because I couldn't keep living like that anymore. Once I was released from the hospital. At this point, the infection was so bad I had a fully catheter in. And that's just pretty much a indwelling catheter with the bag strapped to your leg that's collecting the your urine and blood and whatever, whatever else is coming out of your body when you're pushing out an infection. So I was in a bad spot and I had to be honest, you know? So at that point, I told the doctors, hey, I'm a heroin addict, I've been abusing my pain meds for four years, and I don't want to die like this. I just. I want some help. Where do I start? So they ended up sending representative from stars Detox center over to speak to me and I just went in. I I was waiting for a bed for a few days. I was staying at my grandpa's house because he's seen that I really wanted to get it together This time they all just could sense that something was different. And once a bed opened, I checked myself in, checked myself in the treatment, and it begun right. It was so scary, though, like I almost just turned around in the middle of it. Right. Because I'm like, I'm in a wheelchair, I'm rolling into what looks like a dungeon or a morgue freezer, just this tile room. With four county jail mattresses on the floor with one metal toilet right, one metal toilet, let me mention again I'm in a wheelchair. There are certain things that come with being in a wheelchair, right using the bathroom as one of them. I can't just jump up and go to the bathroom real quick when I feel something coming on because my body is shutting down at this point. I'm withdrawing. I got a really bad infection. I might need to go #2 and this is scary because I'm the only one that needs special attention to be able to use the bathroom to even release myself here or we have this metal toilet with this shower curtain basically cuting usoff and I went to that toilet one time and one of the workers came in and just kind of seeing the mess and seeing how struggling and helped me get it all cleaned up and then I just sat in that same room for about 3 days.

How it works when you check yourself in the treatment that stars at the time you would check in there, you would be in what's called the detox tank. And every day you would have to leave for 8 hours and come back. Fortunately though, for me in the attitude that they had, which was a really good one, they allowed me to stay there because if I would have left one time for that 8 hours, I would have never came back just because the circumstances and conditions were so harsh and I felt so embarrassed having to relieve myself in front of these guys. I can't turn my back to them, so they ended up letting me use the staff bathroom down there, which I was so thankful for because there was a door that I actually could shut and have some privacy to do what I needed to do to relieve myself. And then after that third day that there's a gal by the name of Ryan. I call her my sunshine. Just because she was a ray of light and she brought me upstairs. And then from that point it was like, heavens, gates opened up. It was warm. There was a soft bed. There was a hot shower. And that was the beginning of my journey to. Take accountability for the mess that I've created for myself and my family, as well as start this journey of healing mentally, physically, and spiritually. And that's where it started. It started there. It started at stars.

Joe

I mean, that's just so powerful and so important to hear and to to understand. You know, your story with this. What lesson was learned during that time? That you carry with you now that that makes you do things different. See the world different.

Anthony

That's a good question. You know Hindsight's 20/20, of course. But looking back at it, I would have just asked for help sooner, right? I would have asked for help sooner. The lovely people at stars, though they were so supportive and me taking ownership and having these groups where I was able to open up about being paralyzed for one, because a lot of these mental issues that I had really stemmed from being paralyzed and never really confronting that. After I was at stars for 30 something days they sent me to a place called Sanctuary at the lake and that was in gosh, I forgot where. Where was that at? Hold on, miss. It was it. It was so amazing. Lake Chelan, that's where it was. It was on Lake Chelan.

Emma

Sounds lovely.

Joe

Oh yeah.

Anthony

Thank you, sanctuary At the lake, that's what it’s called. So there was 13 beds in there, which was a very small inpatient where you could really get some one-on-one help and attention where each of us had two counselors. They had a physical therapy section downstairs inside of the place where I was able to even start that journey. So to double back to your question, I would have just asked for help a lot sooner. That really restored my faith in humanity once I was sober enough to have a clear mind and not just have so much shame and guilt. If I'm feeling this way about myself, there's no way anybody wants to help me, right? Just because I feel like they could see or hear the thoughts that I'm feeling, which all of us are different, and we all have our own perspective. But I love that people have that heart inside of them, that if you if you reach out genuinely, and you're honest with yourself and people, then they'll be there to support you. So that was a great experience that I had and a start to my journey. But it wasn't over by a long shot, because when I came home I found myself yet homeless once again, but this time I was sober and there was a new battle to attack this thing.

Emma

Wow, that was like a perfect cliffhanger if ever I heard one. I'm like now join us for Part 2. No, I don't know. Well what happened?

Anthony

OK so. When you're needing services, there is so many avenues and so many different things that your responsibilities, your rights, ideas just get lost in the overwhelming amount of information. So I was trying to set up the proper health insurance that would allow me to have good coverage for my disability, right, but not too good of coverage to help me with housing. OK. Because there's if I make too much money, but over just say a dollar amount, just one dollar would determine whether I qualified for services or not. But if I didn't have a certain type of insurance, then that wasn't going to cover all of my medical supplies and physical therapy that I was needing.

Emma

So you're saying you had to walk a very fine line between needing to make sure you had the appropriate medical coverage to cover, like I assume physical therapy and probably some counseling and probably some other stuff, but you couldn't have good enough medical insurance that it would disqualify you from the housing resources.

Anthony

Yeah.

Emma

Is that even a line you can walk? I mean, is that like a real path?

Anthony

You. You. You know, it took some really strong navigating. It really did because there was a point to when I came home, I, my grandfather gave me a shot because he just seen the progress that I was making. He let me stay with him for six months. Right. And during that six months I had a fresh new spirit a renewed mind, and I was sober, so I was really able to bust out a pen and a pad and just start calling all of these numbers that I have gotten along the way. Right? Resource, books, flyers, cards, if you will. DSHS. So I spent some time going through all of these resources that I had one by one, just trying to see what was the best position that I could be in, but I also needed to get a new wheelchair. So at the time of my homelessness, I ended up getting super overweight just because what was going on with my kidneys and the head injury that I got that was making me secrete too much prolactin, which is a hormone that's close to estrogen but for men and it just makes you put on a lot of weight.

So I ended up breaking the wheelchair that I originally had because that was the one that I got out of the hospital with, which I was much smaller. So I was using the hospital medical wheelchair, one of these super heavy clunker wheelchairs to get by, because the insurance that I had there was a spin down that was too much for me to afford, and if I didn't reach that then I couldn't get a new chair or a standing frame. So I pushed around in this chair for about 6 months until the coverage that I was on ran out. And then I could start with the new coverage. But during that time in transition between the insurances, I reached out to some help with my community just because I ended up starting a Facebook page just to kind of hold myself accountable and track this journey that I was on. I didn't know it at the time, but. Six years of my sobriety and looking back at it and all of the things that I've shared along my journey has really helped a lot of people I'm finding out in the community once again, though, in the early stages of it, I I reached out to my community because these organizations weren't helping and I was able to raise the money for the spin down for my wheelchair, my standing frame, and they're able to get me a couple months in a hotel because like I said, when I got back out of the hospital and found myself in homelessness again, my grandfather gave me 6 months and then after that it was just time to stretch my wings because I couldn't get it done there. There were some other things. Going on in the house with an uncle that was suffering with alcoholism and I just didn't want to be around the things that could put me back in the place where I started. So I regrouped in the hotel, reached out to my community and they raised some funds. And then I was finally able to find myself in the right insurance at the time. Met the right resources, went down to Catholic charities because that was a suggestion by one of the people on Facebook. Like, hey, go try them. They're helping right now with housing. I go down there, need a lovely caseworker. They put me on a housing list because there wasn't any available properties immediately that would suit a person with disability. These, you know, is it accessible? What's the parking look like? Is there an elevator? Just certain. What? What's the interior of the place look like, can I reach the light switch or the people you know? Just these little things that you don't think about that are going to need to be addressed for someone. Paralyzed.

Emma

Well, and on top of like needing to have those features you also, I mean you're not making a ton of money at this point in your journey, so it also has to be affordable Affordable, and accessible. I don't. I know right now that it like affordability in our community is a big deal. I don't even know what's even smaller sub sect would to be considered accessible and affordable.

Joe

Well. That. And that's what I that's what I mean. A couple of different things from what you just talked about first is. We have societal safety nets, but safety nets can also catch you, and you could get trapped in a net. And So what you're talking about? We we hear that all the time. If I make a dollar more, we've had people not get into housing because they they worked an extra shift and got an extra $25 on their paycheck. Which then prevented them from getting into the housing thing that they qualified for from every other paycheck that they ever had, but they didn't have that. And so. So, yeah, safety nets can also trap you into them. And. And I think we see that and we hear that with your story. But the other part of that, which is what Emma was hitting on here was, you know, we have less than a 1% vacancy rate for those either listening around the country. Here in Eastern Washington and Spokane, we have less than 1% vacancy rate, which means for every 100 people that are looking for a place to rent, there's one place available now you take that and then you say now that place has to be accessible. It has to be on the ground floor. It has to have, you know ADA required amenities. You're probably looking at, I don't know, maybe I mean well less than 1% because 1% is the is the total.

Emma

I was going to. Say what? A handful, and that's got to be like the formal term. A handful of units.

Anthony

Yes, literally, literally, right. So so check this out. Once I went down the Catholic Charities and I got on this list. It took another six months for property to even call me back, you know? So I was still having to be on strangers couches. But the community was so lovely that I found myself in good hands while I was waiting. Right, but at least I had a time and date, so I ended up getting how I was able to afford that. That was the income based voucher where I was able to pay 30% of my Social Security and that made a two-bedroom very affordable and that's where I'm still at today because that net that you're talking about kind of has me trapped in it a little bit right now because I feel like I have outgrown the place my kids have outgrown the place and it it was suitable for my Social Security, right? But I couldn't live like, just stuck on Social Security and have any real goals or ambitions. So it was time for me to get to work. Right. So I, so I went to work and my first job was at Amazon and that was going great. I didn't realize all of the requirements for being on Social Security, Social Security and going back to work. I thought that if I just worked part time then I would be good. Luckily I Amazon there was a child at work period for people with disabilities where they give you 9 months where you can make as much money as you want and keep your Social Security benefits.

I didn't know about that because they didn't make that information so available until I was cut off of benefits. You know, after I left Amazon I found this amazing place revive counseling in which I went to for counseling myself just to keep on a solid path. Keep a good journey because here I am. Five years into my sobriety at the time, you know, I was getting real comfortable in that sobriety and I could have slipped in the old way. So I went to revive to get some help and then I ended up getting a job there just because they were thrilled by my story and how I carried myself and wanted me to be a part of their team because they thought that I could make some differences in the community.

Having all of those lived experience with addiction and homelessness to be able to give back, so that's where I'm at now and currently working at Revive has just been a blessing for me to be in connection with some of the most marginalized people in our society, and so many people with disabilities, like the amount of wheelchairs that are at the shelter that I stay at is just overwhelming and they have been just as lost, if not more lost than I was at the time. Just because they weren't asking those questions that I was asking right or they weren't in a place to reach out to begin. Some of them were so afraid of this system because everywhere that they went the door is getting shut in their face. They were stuck trying to sort through the overwhelming amount of information and figuring out what your rights responsibilities are with navigating that system, such as you want to stay on Social Security and not afford anything, and that the housing availability is just not there. Or do you want to abandon Social Security, go to work, but then you have to give up some things.

For me it was a big deal getting cut off of my Social Security. Not for the money-wise, right? I'm working full time and I could support myself, but I really needed the medical benefits so I can continue physical therapy and I could continue counseling because these are vital parts of my sobriety and me not being homeless because if my sobriety fails, then there goes my foundation and then I could find myself right back in those streets. So that has been difficult and most recently coming to a resolution in with the system and working right, so the Social Security check is gone. That's fine. We found a happy state insurance that gives me the coverage that I need to continue this healthy lifestyle and maintain my home, maintain my sobriety, and keep working at physical therapy to be the best version of myself in this wheelchair, which has just been it's been, it's been a journey. It's been a journey.

Emma

So I have two. Questions shoot. You mentioned that your kids are now back engaged with your life, kind of last we heard from them in your story, they were with grandma. How, how did they get woven back in?

Anthony

Oh gosh, the moment that I got a place, you know, they they were chomping at the bit to be back, you know, with their father. And at the time, some of the other family members now were on that side of the coin that I was on, you know. And then I was the stable one and having to hold the glue together to keep everything tight. Right. So yeah, they came back in 2000... when did I... 2017 I went to treatment, I got my place. It was about a year after being released from treatment that I got my place just for. All of those barriers that we had spoke about and navigating the system, but as soon as I did that, then they were Johnny on the spot right there and we didn't have anything. We we had keys to a place and we had an air mattress. But you know that little two-bedroom felt like a mansion at the time.

And thank God for my lovely community and following my Facebook journey. And as I'm sharing all of these parts of myself and the journey that I was on because they were came through in like 2 days to furnish the place, get me pots and pans and you know, just the whole 9. Did you? I had too much stuff by the by the end of a couple of days to where I was able to just pay it forward. And give the stuff out to anybody that needs it. And yeah, so that so the kids are back, they're doing amazing. My daughter's 19. My son is 16. He was 5 when I got paralyzed and my daughter was 8. So this wheelchair has been a big part of their life for, you know, the second part of their life and they've they've been very supportive and amazing kids. And just my beacon of light that kept me going past a bad day, bad month, or any type of situation. I just I had a guiding light those children and that's been able to keep me. On a narrow road. that has given me so much, it's given me so much. I'm really excited where I'm at today and being able to give back to people that are struggling in that same place that I was now navigation is much easier for them because I know what doors to knock on and what questions to ask that could get them where they need to be and want to be.

Emma

My second question is kind of out of left field. So you had a... I mean student athlete... I would assume a fairly capable physical body. And then a situation happened and now you are paralyzed in a wheelchair. Then there are other people who are born with some sort of physical disability. Compare and contrast for me that experience of going from one perspective to another perspective as opposed to kind of growing up with the disability just as part of your everyday life. I can imagine that just is very different.

Anthony

Right. Oh, it is big time, right? That the athlete that I was in the command that I had over my body in each sport, baseball, basketball, and football just gave me a strong sense of identity. This when this wheelchair took all of that from me. After I got off the drugs and dealing with homelessness, those were just a simple part of the battle. The real battle was who am I? Where do I fit into society? What's my role in the family and what's my future look like? I started walking in 2019 with leg braces being off all of the drugs and getting a stable place underneath me. Getting back in the church and just giving my life over to a higher power that could help me take the load off of my shoulders that could allow me to stay focused, to create the best life that I can in this wheelchair. Having all of that success that I had in physical therapy allowed me to reach out and do some different things like basketball, right, wheelchair basketball. I didn't even know that was a thing. Like I was just so shallow in my own little world that I honestly never even watched one game of wheelchair basketball.

So when somebody had mentioned it to me at Providence, I, my jaw hit the floor because I couldn't think like you're in a wheelchair playing basketball. How does that even work? What does that look like? So they bring me to a practice. They throw me in a chair. I was hooked from the start, and then I've just been competing ever since. This is a big part of my identity. Wheelchair basketball. I recently took on water skiing, adaptive water skiing and mountain skiing as well. I went this past season at the end of the season, I strapped into one just just to give it a try and I loved it, so I'm excited to attack the mountain next year and get on the water this summer. That just opens up this beautiful world to me when I thought it was gone, because in a wheelchair. Right. You you got to go places. How am I going to get into the water? How much? How would I ever even get up on the mountain? You know, some of these things that I thought I can never do again because of my disability have just opened up a whole new world. And basketball is the main glue right now because that was one of the sports that I played before the accident that kind of gives me that sense of identity again.

Emma

That's so cool. I'm so happy to hear one that those options exist. But then two that you are taking full advantage of them. You mentioned earlier just a little bit of your advice to your younger self or or whatnot would be to ask for help sooner and that's really a theme I'm hearing throughout your story is, you have to be good at asking for help. You don't have to necessarily be good at knowing the resources. You just have to know when to ask for help and to ask for help from lots of different places.

Anthony

There you go, absolutely.

Emma

I think that's great advice for anyone.

Anthony

Yeah, for sure. For sure. Yeah. The system in the world is a big place. And none of us are meant to travel it alone. And sometimes you could feel like you're alone, though, because it gets a bit intimidating when you're going into big places like DSHS or Catholic Charities or, you know, some of the other welfare offices. It's it's just it's it's intimidating. You know, and unless you have somebody personally that kind of understands the system and knows the questions to ask, you could definitely feel alone. And that's why I'm so thankful to be a part of this amazing company revive, because they allow a lot of their housing specialist and peer support counselors to be that bridge, right, between homelessness and all the resources, because navigating those resources could be the make it or break it. A lot of people will give up just because they can't navigate those resources.

Emma

Well, and I think too of like you had to push so hard to get the appropriate medical coverage. I'm sure there are a lot of people that need appropriate medical, aren't able, aren't willing, don't have the resources, whatever to find that and therefore in order to manage pain, in order to you know just continue right, turn to other things, maybe like addictions.

Anthony

Yeah, absolutely. Counseling, you know, mental health, anybody that's struggled with illness or addiction, not to mention just regular folks, right, like life is life is stressful, like life comes with its own variety of problems and things. No matter what your situation is, you know, because you could be trapped in your mind and that can make you more paralyzed than I'll ever be in this wheelchair, right cause the only limitations in life are the ones that you said on yourself. So I really got to experience that with everything that I'm getting involved with. And I'm just again, I can't give stop giving my company a shout out because they allowed me to give back to those people and to see some of the successors that I've witnessed and worked with. You know, if you could just help that one person reach their goals on where they want to be in life, I just feel like all of the pain, all of the, the regret, all of it is just worth it, you know. My brother passed away. It'll be two years ago, August 13th this year, to an accidental overdose. He took a pill. It had fentanyl in it. He was out work. He was having a really struggling day. You know, I could imagine in some pain he was just getting ready to get released from Brownstone, which is a program for inmates to reintegrate into society and I had big dreams and plans for him just because I've navigated all of these resources and I had a clear plan that I could assist him in his journey because he ended up doing some prison time and I was in a perfect place to help when he came home, he just didn't get to make it there and so that is another big part of my driving force to help that one person, you know, just one person at a time. That's it. I just want to help one at a time. And that feels like I'm leaving this place, this world a little bit better than I found it or what I've even put in during the first half of my life.

Joe

So the theme that we've had all throughout our podcast, if you've been a listener for a while, you've heard this over and over and over again. The theme of relationship and community and how important relationships and community are. And and Anthony, unprompted, continues to kind of communicate that. I I think one thing that I did want to want to share with our audience is you are starting to create some content on your own and you have a way that people can connect with you in your journey. Will you share about that a little bit about what you're doing and then how people can find you online?

Anthony

Again, Facebook right I wasn't too, it wasn't too technical inclined. So, you know, once I started to get my mind right and I came out of treatment and I started to integrate to some of these things. I'm I'm hung up just because I'm learning. I'm learning. But Facebook has been my major tool right now. So it's just Anthony Horne on Facebook. I will be starting a YouTube channel and I want to do podcast as well just so I could get some people that are in that struggle or outside of it so we could share the different looks from the outside looking in. Excited to do my part.

Joe

Fantastic. We'll share a link to your Facebook on our on this podcast, so if anybody's looking for that, wants to connect with Anthony, or see what he's doing, you can go and click on that.

Emma

Anthony, you have a great podcast voice. I think you'll be, you'll be a good fit.

Anthony

OK. Thank you. I'll have to hear it to see what that sounds like. I can hear me in the headphones, but we'll see you on the playback. What it sound like? Mic check mic check.

Emma

Anthony, as we wrap up any final things to share. Things we didn't ask about.

Anthony

If I did have anything left to say, it would just be to the individuals struggling in homelessness, in addiction, in depression just to understand that you are not defined by those things, OK, you are not your mistakes. You are not the things that you've been through. But all of those things can shape you into the person that you dream of or want to become. So just give yourself a shot don't be afraid to ask for help, cause even the cool kids could do it. Take it for me and life is beautiful and it's waiting for you. You know the only limitations are the ones that you have in your mind. That you set for yourself, just get outside of that. Ask for some help, knock on some doors or come find me to hear a good story on how to do it and then we could walk that journey together.

Emma

With that, Anthony, thank you. We will see you all, hear you all next time.

Anthony

You're welcome.

Joe

Thank you, Anthony.

Anthony

Thanks guys. Appreciate y'all having me.

Emma

As we wrap up this episode, I want to personally invite you to come and see for yourself what Family Promise of Spokane is up to in our community. We have an opportunity to literally visit our program, which you can sign up for at www.familypromiseofspokane.org/visit. W would love to invite you to show you what we're about to highlight our success and share different ways for you to be involved. I also want to personally thank Anthony Horne revive counseling, Spokane Public Library, and our executive producers Gwyn Griffith and Cheree LaPierre. Thank you again for listening for joining the conversation and my encouragement as we end this episode is to do exactly what Anthony encourages to ask for help. To ask for help sooner than you think you might need it. And to continue to seek community. Until next time, I'm Emma Hughes and this is On the Corner of Homelessness and.